When I was much younger, I’d wake up with a stanza of a song we’d sing in church.
“It’s the depths of Your love, moving in the depths of me.”
It’s been over a decade and I’m only beginning to understand why You sang this over me. When I said, “Yes.” to You, You came and dwelled with me, knowing well that I’d so break Your heart over and over, yet seventy-seven times seven times later You’d still do it. Take that and times seven billion times over because that’s how You love.
After I came back from Israel, I felt like I walked into a pile of mess and I had no idea where to start and under my skin, I was drowning under nothing.
Last night I sat in the stillness of dark, just before falling asleep and I was beginning to become aware of a pain deep inside me–and I questioned why pain exists yet, in the awareness of that, I saw how Your great love reached it, and I remember how my most glorious days were the times where I was in my greatest pain, and never once did You fail me. Never once.
By glorious days, I meant all the times You loved me so fiercely and it has always, always defeated the pain I was facing. It was You who has been, and is still, gently work in the depths of my being, knowing full well on all of my thoughts and decisions, yet faithful transforming me daily and organically, to look more and more like You.
To abide in You, as You abide in me. To remain in Your Love.