Run Daughter, Run

We’ve commonly heard the expression, “Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” that typically describes a grumpy start of the day for an individual. Even writing this got me a little cautious as our words carry power.

I’ve recently been confronting–or am fronted by–the very flaws and weakness I have. The little ones that I’ve found a way to hide so well. It was during Kingdom Invasion where I realised I had dropped my call to intercession, in which Holy Spirit personally invited me to join Him in. It’s always the same truth. It’s always been about Him.

So I guess, I’m just taking a step at a time again, every step in consideration of Holy Spirit the dove and my super, cool and awesome best friend. Remember the truth, every day in surrender and following my King Jesus, busking in the love of my Dad who loves me, who loves me, who loves me.

Now, I refuse to believe that there’s such a thing as the wrong side of the bed. And truth be told, THERE ISN’T ONE! Yet every single day, there’s the good side of the bed, where I’m awakened by Holy Spirit, where I can enter His courts with thanksgiving and praises!

His goodness and mercies follow me every single day, His blood covers me because He said, IT IS FINISHED. And it has already been done, the work is done. His laws are written in our hearts, and we’ve been adopted into His family. Every single day, He loves me, He loves us. Every single day, this doesn’t ever change. Full access and full inheritance. Thank You Jesus. So overwhelmed by love.

Advertisements

Responsibility

Responsibility is defined as:

  1.  the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.
  2.  the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something.
  3.  the opportunity or ability to act independently and take decisions without authorization.

Sounds…. pretty stressful. 

nikko-macaspac-263785-unsplash

Yet I want to suggest that responsibility is the ability to respond with, to and even through God.

This, though seemingly in it of itself, is actually a branch out of our relationship with God, not simply a character trait. Note that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It is, definitely, most wise when we live our lives accountable to the One who created us and the universe.

This gives for much freedom, as it stems from a dynamic relationship with Him, who knows all things from the beginning to the end, from naming the stars to numbering the hairs on our heads.

He is far bigger than the various spacetime continuum, or the dire situation we might be in and yet, He wants to be with us in and through all of it, from school projects to healing crusades, and talking about various topics. He already knows us, yet He’s still so infinitely interested and in love with us and we only grow to know more about Him, His heart, His ways, His Truth (that’s found in the Word) and with that, looking more and more like Him. Face-to-face, every day. What can separate us from His love? Really. What?

annie-spratt-46095-unsplash

And suddenly, responsibility’s not so… burdensome.

But we can still choose not to accept His love and live independently, taking upon ourselves these rules and expectations, living in stress and slowly turmoil, being completely exposed and probably even bounded to guilt, shame and condemnation and working even harder to hide all of that, stepping over others to try to get on top. Opinions. Judgments. Accusations. Lies.

Or truth?

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil or, the tree of Life–and guess what, the mystery’s revealed, His name is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. The way, the truth and the life. The centrepiece of all of creation.

As I’m reaching December, I realised I’m beginning to understand what it means to be a friend of Holy Spirit. He told me three things earlier this year:

1. To be simple.
2. To listen.
3. To read the Word.

And that’s all that there is to come to know Him, and these instructions are tailored for my life. The whole of this year has been nothing but an adventure, and though it has constantly been about the same thing, all I’m finding is more.

So more Lord, as I sing out to You!

I’ve so much to write – it’s now November and I’m five days in.

If I can summarise everything that has happened, there was fire, there were strong winds, there were quakes but after it all, it’s still, the still, small voice that I’m listening to; or that I long to hear. My Shepherd’s voice, my Lover’s whisper, my King and my Dad’s heart, Holy Spirit’s wisdom and instructions for adventures. To delight in yielding.

Things are getting harder and easier at the same time, not the hard that I was previously used to – so much work, filling up my schedule, hardly having enough sleep or having a debilitating condition but having Holy Spirit reveal my intentions even when outwardly, it looks commendable. The Lord always looks at the heart. Having to deny myself and to obey Him and to find such an ease in it, nothing is what I used to think.

This also included Holy Spirit telling me to stop forcing myself to watch a good sermon and telling me to watch Drop Dead Diva (yes, I know) because He knew what was in my heart and then explaining to me how our need to be or do good spiritual discipline sometimes backfires, or getting me to reject what seems like an important event or place to be in, or getting me to reject donating to certain causes. Everything is constantly new, but yet they are not.

I wondered how philosophers find depth when “deep cries out to deep”.

Over half a year.

Has passed.

And it’s like a group of us has been plunged into hyperspace and witness what usually happens over a course of three years happen in three hours. I am utterly convinced of His power and His love for me, for us. As written in John, as written as He is the Word at the beginning.

Such series of events can only be orchestrated by God Himself, raining down perfectly cut jewels, having angelic beings captured on camera, divine upon divine relationships, healing, deliverance, mentorship, steadfast discipline, freedom.

I never want to stop being hungry, I never want to forget of His precepts that I’ve hidden in my heart and placed it in Him for safe-keeping. I never want to stop being at a place of surrender and while learning to be royalty, to take care of myself, to love myself just as He has loved me. To simply remain in His love, until I am so at ease with who I am in Him and simply watch the enemies scatter. To be present in His presence. To not even try but am utterly convinced I look just like Him, and even can only grow more each day because of His amazing power.

Steadfast. Freedom.

I’m learning to not discipline myself in self-hatred and condemnation and instead, replacing everything with the Truth and only the Truth.

I should try that tomorrow, be still in His presence. No more hiding.
#ComeOutComeHome

Pieces

He doesn’t love us in pieces. He doesn’t give His heart in pieces.

He is there in every intricate area of your life. He is not just there when everything is fine, He is even more so, there when everything is not fine. He draws close to the brokenhearted. He is even more so there when your mum left you, when your dad did you wrong. He is there when you were being hurt in the most terrible ways ever could have been done to you and He was there and He felt it like you did. He is there with you through it all, even when in your pain you thought He wasn’t.

He is not a God who loves only on the good days, He is a God who loves more fiercely than ever on the days where the pain is unbearable and when you feel like you’d rather die.

He is not a selfish God. He is not an insecure God desperate for you to love Him back. He is a God who wages war against the darkness, who fights for you when you thought of Him as your enemy. He is Love, and in Him, there’s perfect peace, a place where you’re finally safe and held, a place where He paid the greatest price no man can offer when you felt no worth, a place where joy is no longer dependent on merely a good time, here today and gone tomorrow, but unquenchable joy. No more heaviness, no more pain.

He has loved us with an everlasting love, nothing can compare, none can separate.

Life has been accelerating; as if time has been expanding and contracting simultaneously like it’s in labour for a revival that is due.

It feels as if I’ve been carried through by Him through my days, sailing.

A lot of things that were happening couldn’t make sense and to catalogue everything that has been happening wouldn’t really be doing these stories any justice. There are so many parts of life linking to other parts of life, I don’t really know how to write it.

So to pick up from where I left off, I am just thankful that my birthday present last year is both a seed and a matryoshka doll. My story doesn’t end, and neither does yours as long as you’re still breathing.

As of now, I’m as alive as ever. Truly living and witnessing.

The Singaporean Bride

This has been in my heart for so long,
and I feel like right at this moment I am conceiving something
my mind is unable to comprehend-
so I’ll let myself be undone,
surrender it all to You over and over,
wave after wave.

Your love crashes over me.
Wave after wave, You set us free.
Wave after wave, You’d carry us forward.

It is You that I want,
It is You that I long for.

All I want is nothing more,
Than to worship you here at Your door.

Let us all begin to sing,
Let us all begin to rise.

For You’re coming,
You’re coming for us.

You’ll pour Your Spirit out on all flesh,
Your young men shall prophesy,
Your old men shall dream dreams.

You will reign,
And Your Kingdom knows no end.

It’s always darkest before the dawn.

From the Future.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV)

Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works
Which You have done;
And Your thoughts toward us
Cannot be recounted to You in order;
If I would declare and speak of them,
They are more than can be numbered. (Psalm 40:5)

 

I know that God has a great future for me, He is a good, good Father and I am just so blessed, blessed beyond measure to have met Jesus Christ, to have Him call me out of darkness, to simply know Him and I desire to know Him more.

Just moments ago I watch a short clip on the imagination of hope (that you can see above) and I was just inspired to write, to write from my future.

 

Oh dear, young Zoe,

I know what you’re going through now seems overwhelming almost all the time but trust me, and trust God, it is going to be worth it. Daddy God doesn’t waste a single hurt, and I know it seems as if everything is at a halt and you feel like you’re stuck but you will get out of this, you will rise victorious. There are so many things that you are gaining now that I am so thankful that you’ve persevered and trusted in Daddy’s Word, oh I can tell you from here that Daddy God is a good and faithful God, and you’ll only find yourself in situations where His goodness, His nature comes to overwhelm you instead. 

I also know that right now, you are probably distressed over the people around you but you’ll soon find that in the end, His Word still stands, it is seeking Him first, loving Him with all of your heart, your mind, your soul and your strength.

Surely you’d want a glimpse of the future right? So right now, Zoe, five years from now, your skin is completely healed and cleared, in fact, your health is better than ever! Daddy God is so good, He is incredibly good. Are there still struggles, well, I would say that they are more like challenges right now and they will come but you are so much more equipped now to deal with them. I know that things are hard right now, but cling onto Him, who He is, His nature. He is good, isn’t He? He will reveal more things to you in the days to come but right now Zoe, I want you to keep so close to Him, don’t regret the things you didn’t do, there is no point. Your entire life belongs to Him, nothing you do can ever outdo Him. Why? Don’t you realise how big our Daddy is? 

I know you want to save the world and probably right now, you’re learning to let that go, that you have no power to save. You’ll come to a place of utter rest and surrender, remember you walk and relationship with God is uniquely differently from everyone else, and you have no rival. The things that God has placed in your heart, it is only for you to carry. Daddy loves you as you are you, Zoe, He calls you beautiful, He calls you light, He calls you His beloved, and yes you are! He loves you beyond measure, beyond what you think is love right now. Now, don’t punish yourself. The fear of God is not the religious kind of fear, but a fear out of your love for Him?

Oh Zoe, the things you struggle with now will only serve to tell a better story. He is the author, and He is good isn’t He? Remember that, His mercy, His love. Fix your eyes on Him, behold Him. You are good, because He is good and He even calls you, very good. Oh Zoe, you can never run from His love for you. I remember you’ll say that to others, now, say that to yourself everyday. So much of what is happening right now, oh, you’ve no idea how it’ll all turn for good. Zoe, never forget His goodness. Never ever forget that.

Everyday when you wake up, guilt tries to attack you on all the things you are not doing right, just believe in the truth instead and the truth is, you are His daughter and nothing can change that. You are already redeemed. Don’t punish yourself into discipline, live out of Him. Your walk with Him is unique. Keep your good friends close and invest in their lives. Be allergic to guilt, shame, condemnation and regret, be allergic to that Zoe. You are so loved, so loved. 

Oh remember, don’t even focus on the enemy. Recognise his ploys but don’t even bother, you’ve already been given authority. In fact Zoe, I want you to live in response to the future. Eat healthily everyday, as much as you can. Continue to exercise but don’t push yourself like you did when you were much younger, I want to you see yourself as how He has told you that you are! If you forget, read this because future you is thanking you! Remember to not punish yourself, why? Because that is not love Zoe, God taught you to love yourself, treat yourself well. He wants you to treat yourself like you are worth it. 

In the makings of a great woman Zoe. Your children are amazing, you can look forward to that though yes, a little mess but oh the beauty. Daddy God is in-charge. Look forward Zoe. All His promises are a Yes in Jesus and an Amen in you. Hugs from the future, and yes, you are gorgeous! 

You,
2021

%d bloggers like this: