Get along. Get along.
by Zoe A. Choo
Getting along with people can sometimes be the hardest thing to do. Kids dying to migrate away from the rest of their family. Organizations splitting. Married couples would rather get a divorce than work it out, now, what happened there?
It’s true we’re raised in a society when something doesn’t work, we throw it away, dump the idea. Well, I hate to admit this but I’m raised that way. This is especially evident in Asian families, we are raised in a fashion as if showing real emotions is a shameful act. It is better to be reserved, especially with feelings.
So you’re not wrong to think Asians should be better at maths, we’ve square roots. (you know what I’m sayin’)
The thing is, we don’t like to deal with the real issue, before it takes root in our hearts and gets buried under a multitude of other irrelevant issues and we circle around all of that instead of dealing with the root issue. The longer we take to resolve it, the more difficult it will be trying to uproot the real issue.
Sometimes, the issue gets so deeply rooted in the core of our beings, we go on with life having the same issue tormenting us repeatedly but we can’t seem to put a finger on it because we had buried it so well and had secretly swore never to look at it again.
Now one of the keys to getting along is, honesty – well at least that’s one of my discovery and I’m still learning. (Coming from someone who had integrity issues being brought up by strict parents, not telling the truth is like breathing to me – helped a lot with socialising but still bad in a long run like medications)
It was only recent that I finally understood what was it like being honest. About a week back, I kept getting incredibly annoyed with Chris, so we decided we needed to talk about the lingering emotions behind the spikes of our words served to each other. As I began to talk about what really bothered me, tears were fighting their way out and I was choking – THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS THE ROOT ISSUE BEGINNING TO BE UPROOTED. And I went on pouring to him about how I hated being an emotional trashcan because growing up, I felt like my dad treated me like one. That was an unsung hurt.
Chris mentioned that there is healing in honesty and he is very right about that. As painfully awkward being honest can get, the truth sets us free (phrase used in a different context) – also there and then, a burden is lifted.
Next to that I find, is forgiveness – forgiveness is very essential in getting along with people and rational for living. Being unable to forgive will only cut us off from living a full, satisfying life. Also, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” quote Martin Luther King Jr.
So we try to get along, as difficult as it gets – at times it feels as if I’d rather chop my arm off. But whatever, I believe we get most of life by living generously.
Just imagine what it’ll be like, if every single one of us just made a little more effort in getting along with one another? Choosing love.