On loving.

by Zoe A. Choo

I’ve been watching myself become intolerant, not in a good way (which is intolerant towards evil) but intolerant towards weaknesses, which is merely an indicator of a lack of love in my life.

There’s no doubt that I am loved, yet I find that I’ve been resisting that for myself. I’ve been resisting loving myself and I watched how many other parts of my life is gets gravely compromised.

I’m still learning how to love all of me so I can love others as well as I do towards myself.

Recently an old trauma resurfaced and I found out that I had been unable to forgive myself for whatever that had happened when I was younger and I took the blame for the tragedy that had happened in the guise of taking responsibility and ownership for that incident – in this case, holding myself accountable for something that shouldn’t have been anyone’s fault yet I find it so hard to not make it mine.

I also never want to submit to the mindset of blame that is so destructive in nature, and I don’t care if it’s prevalent in society? IMMA BE A THERMOSTAT.

Anyway, I’ll let Him love me out of this, and… I’ll just love myself, everyday. Yes, this self-blame has to stop. I’m not going to resist His love for me.

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